Mar 16

Happy 2nd Birthday Owen!

I love this picture of you, Owen. This is you and I shortly after you entered this world, shortly after I gave everything I had to get you here. It took all my energy, all my will power, all my strength...and you continue to demand all of it from me every day. My sweet, sweet boy, you are a strong one. I believe I will say that about you year after year after year.

You are strength my son. Pure strength. I get so frustrated at your strength at times. I want you to conform, to give in, to be like everyone else. But you aren't. You are so much your own person. I have loved seeing YOU emerge day after day for the last two years and I look forward to more and more of you in my life.

What I am learning from you is not to give up on what you want in life. You are teaching me that it doesn't matter what everyone else is doing, what matters is what's right for YOU. I'm learning that relationships are more important than rules. These are hard lessons for me, but I want to learn them for you. You have started to say, "My Mommy...mine." That's right, Owen. I am your mommy, I will never stop giving all my love and all my strength to match your love and your strength.

Thank you for your sweet smile, kisses and big hugs. I love you my boy.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

Oct 24

Happy 4th Birthday Gram!

I know I will say this with each birthday, but wow, I can't believe you're 4!! I remember the day you were born, I remember when you were still in my belly, I remember when I could hold you with just one arm. You were so tiny. And now you are so big! You are tall and have long legs and big feet and are getting so heavy to carry.

It's so fun to talk to you Gram. You have a big imagination and are always thinking of new ways to play with your toys. And you don't miss anything! Whatever you see or experience, you play out with your toys, it's so cool to see how God made you to learn through play. You are loving stories, especially Bible stories and stories when mommy and daddy were little.

You are such a good big brother! I can finally say that with complete truth! It has taken you a little while to adjust to having Owen around, but you are so sweet with him. You are patient and considerate of him. You love to help him and help me with him. I am so appreciative of that. Most times, you gladly give up a toy if Owen is wanting to play with it. You try to not aggravate him but rather help him to play and settle down if he gets upset. And you are so excited to teach Owen "lots of thing" you say, like how to ride a bike and the scooter.

Things you say that I love to hear right now:
- "Come on Owen, chase me!"
- "Hey little buddy!" (when talking to Owen)
- "Mommy, can we have some me and you time?"
- "Mommy, I love you."
- I heard you singing Jesus Loves Me the other day and it melted my heart.
- A friend of yours was talking about monsters and you replied, 'Whenever you get scared of monsters, you can just talk to God and he will help you." Yes!!!!

You love school and are just soaking up so much. You like to introduce yourself to the gas station attendants and want to invite them to play at your house. You love people and always make friends wherever we happen to be playing. Those friends are normally girls and you have asked on multiple occasions if we can have more babies, "lots of baby girls" you say. =) (The answer is NO!)

I love being your mommy and am so proud of you Gram. Happy birthday!!

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

Oct 20

Happy 18 months Owen!

18 months of joy with this little guy! I remember this same feeling with Gram, a feeling of fullness, the feeling that Owen is so much more than I ever could have expected. He is more quirky and more funny and more strong and more sweet than I imagined. He is full of personality, we just can't get enough of him.

Owen, you are a teddy bear, my sweet boy. You love to snuggle and give hugs and kisses. You lose your mind when a dog comes around cause you want to hug and kiss and ride him. You are so strong willed. You make your voice heard above those 5 times your size. You love to play, even when you have had little sleep and I have had little sleep, you play and play and play. You only like riding in the stroller if Gram is with you. You love to jump- jump on the couch and jump off the bed into our arms. You have no fear my wild one.

It's kind of weird, but you like to stand on us when we are laying down and sit on our heads (did I mention you are also more weird than I imagined!) You love to eat and you love to dance and clap your hands. And more than anything, you love to do what Gram does.

You are a special little boy, Owen. You fill our lives every day and we are so grateful God gave you to us. Happy 18 months stinker!

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

Mar 17

Happy 1st Birthday Owen Klarke!

I'm sure most people feel this way...that they can't believe their little baby is 1 year old already. The saying is so, so true...the days are long but the years are short. Welcoming Owen into our family has made for some long, long days. It has been an adjustment for us all (mostly his older brother Gram!). Having another human to care for takes more work, more energy, more sleepless nights, more worry, more feeding, more rocking....you get the point.

But man, along with all of that has been more and more and more snuggles. I wouldn't trade any of it.

Owen Klarke...I knew you would be fierce. There were times while pregnant with you that it felt like you were literally doing circles inside me. You came out swinging my strong boy, and you haven't stopped. God is referred to as both strong and loving. And when I think about you the first thing that pops into my mind is that you are strong and loving.

I have never met a baby as strong as you. You sat by yourself at 4 months, crawled at 6 months, and walked at 9.5 months. You get knocked down by your brother all the time and yet you rarely cry. You climb, you tumble, you balance, you lift! You carry around a 3 pound weight...in one hand...at 11 months!!! It's incredible. Every day we see you do something that amazes us. You have no fear and often times rightly so, because you have the strength to back it up. I have no idea how this is going to play out in your life, but I can hardly wait to see!

I have never met a baby as loving as you. You love to snuggle, you are my true snuggle bug, and I am so, so thankful for it. I pray you will always be a snuggle bug. There have been many occasions where you have snuggled into friends of ours and even complete strangers. Last year at Vienne Piscitelli's funeral, there was an older woman sitting in the foyer of the church before the funeral started. I was getting something out of your diaper bag and you kept leaning toward her. I asked, "Do you want to go to her?" and you leaned again. She exclaimed, "I would love to hold him!" So I gave you to her...and you snuggled her. You looked up at her and snuggled in, repeat, repeat, repeat. She was beaming. Here we were at a tragic funeral and you were comforting this grandma. It's like you knew she needed some snuggles on this sad day. So loving.

As your personality comes out more and more, we see your goofy side. You are silly like your brother. You give us this big toothy grin while scrunching your face, it's adorable. You love Micky Mouse Clubhouse! You love to dance (especially to the Hot Dog song), whenever there's music on you will dance. It's so cute! You are a great eater, you love sausage and cheese and blueberries and broccoli.

You love your brother and dad so, so much. You three wrestle together and you growl just like Gram. In the morning, you call out, "Dada....dada" and Daddy comes to get you. You repeat almost anything your dad says. And you've learned to meow like a kitty, just like Gram.

Owen, you have added some much joy to our family. You melt our hearts on a daily basis and you make us smile just by watching you walk around. Your laugh is one of the best sounds I've ever heard and it's absolutely contagious. I love you my sweet, sweet boy. And I look forward to many years as your mom.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

Dec 04

Selfish vs. Sacrifice.

I've mentioned before how caught off guard I have been about what it takes to run a household with two kids. Maybe it's Pinterest or Facebook or any of the other multitude of blogs/ websites of really amazing moms/wives/women who seem to be running their households in some pretty amazing ways. Not only do they seem to be organized and creative, their homes are clean with homemade cleaners and their dinners are delicious and well balanced every night. Most of these women are completely honest about their stuggles as well, but it's still intimidating. It still makes me feel like I'm always trying to catch up, to keep up I suppose.

What I have realized is that I need a new way of thinking about my household and my days. My perspective is often focused on keeping up, trying to get ahead (yeah right!), and just make it through this time of exhausted craziness. However, that way of thinking leaves me feeling behind all the time. My perspective needs to be - this is life now. These are my days. Life is about cleaning and playing and cooking and more playing and teaching/molding and loving and shopping and saving and projects and all the rest that goes into raising two little boys and living as a family of four and well, being an adult. Life isn't happening outside of these things, it IS these things.

I need to let go of that selfish part of my past life that I am subconsciously clinging to. The past life where I could sleep in and watch 4 episodes of my favorite show and have ice cream for dinner. The thing is, I miss those things, I miss that part of my past life. I miss the feeling of a day full of nothing to do and no responsibility, the carefreeness of being able to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it.

It's been over 3 years now that I've been a mom and I still feel the tug-of-war inside me, selfish vs. sacrificial. Does that feeling ever go away? How can I feel at the very same time that I just want to do what I want to do and yet get up hour after hour throughout night after night to rock and snuggle and comfort my little guy? These seem to be polar opposite feelings and yet they both reside inside me.

The choice to live sacrificially is one that is made day after day, hour after hour. This make Jesus' sacrifice for us all that more amazing. He didn't just make the choice once, he made it day after day, heartbreaking hour after hour and he continues to make it to this day. I exhaust Him, I'm sure. My sin and pettiness and selfishness wear on His heart because He knows I am more than that. I am more than my weakest moments, and it is He who carries me through. It is He who has over these last 3 years kept me going when I was exhausted. It is He who wrapped His arms around me and my boy both as we rocked and snuggled in the dark nights. It is He who gets me out of bed with each cry heard from the other room. It is He, He who has given me every good thing, who creates good things out of struggles, who makes strength out of weakness.

It is because of Him that I am a mom, and even more His doing when I do it well. May I focus on you, Jesus, in the midst of exhaustion, trusting you to transform my selfishness into sacrifice.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

Oct 30

You make beautiful things

"You make beautiful things...You make beautiful things out of dust.
You make beautiful things...You make beautiful things out of us.
You make things new...you are making me new."

We sing this song at Evergreen and I love it. It gives me hope, it speaks of redemption, it reminds me of what God does with our lives, regardless of how ugly they might look at the moment, He makes them beautiful.

He's given us 2 little boys who are more beautiful than I ever could have imagined or created myself. Feeling thankful for God's beauty in my life this morning.

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

Oct 29

A rich relationship

There are so many things about being a mom that have been completely unexpected - the extent of exhaustion; the influence that gas has on their tiny tummies and big moods; the long, long road of teething; sleep training; the ungodly length of time I can stare at a sleeping baby....just to name a few.

But the one that I am feeling more and more is the rich relationship that I have with my sons. (I will talk mostly of Gram because I have had more time with him, but I am beginning to see a similar relationship with my O-bear.) My relationship with Gram is so much richer than I had anticipated. His affections for me and need for Mama's comfort is so beautiful and, honestly, a great reward for all the sleepless nights and long days spent loving and guiding him along.

I can see this richness as he grows and is able to express himself more, as he talks about what he sees around him, as he plays out his experiences. I see this little man who is deeply connected to me. My son wants to share everything with me. He wants me with him when he's hurt and when he's having fun, he wants me to provide when he's hungry or bored, he wants me to laugh with and cry with, he wants me..regardless of his mood or his day or if we've been together all day long, he wants me near him.

Gram loves spending time with others. He's an incredibly social kid and wants to practically burst with excitement when we have people over to the house. (It's funny to have people to the house who have only seen Gram in public, he's like a crazy man at home instead of the reserved, well-behaved kid they normally see.) I digress....Gram loves people, he loves when people play with him. He wants you to come into his room and play trains or trucks or whatever. And he has lots of great people to play with. He loves to play with his Dad and his grandparents. It's so, so precious to see him play with others. But he also loves to play with me. And I, in return, love to play with him. We love to play together and it makes life fun. It's fun to have someone want to be with you, someone who genuinely enjoys your company, a person who you bring so much joy to.

I'm thankful, thankful for Gram and Owen and however many days we get to play together. I'm thankful that even though Dad is super, super fun, they still think I am pretty amazingly fun as well. I'm thankful that even if I'm needing a break from my little men, they rarely seem to need a break from me (a lesson of unconditional love for sure!)

Read More 0 comments | Posted by Kelli Bagby

Happy 2nd Birthday Owen!

Happy 4th Birthday Gram!

Happy 18 months Owen!

Happy 1st Birthday Owen Klarke!

Selfish vs. Sacrifice.

You make beautiful things

A rich relationship

kelli-girl

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